My now 17-year-old son was angry for 5 years…

Photo by Xin on Unsplash

Family Dynamics

I am a recovering co-dependent and people pleaser. I am also in the healing process from perfection syndrome and not “ good-enoughism.” I know it sounds awful, but it is true. I prefer to own my story and heal through it. Kicking shame to the curb, is my main aim. My husband is a beautiful soul, who had a drinking problem. He also had an anger issue. This is my story and not his, I will not elaborate on it at this point. Our son Matthew (17 years old) is leaving for university in the fall. Megan is 14 and wants to be a child psychologist. She is already practising her psychology on me. We all know that children are like sponges. Our parents are the main catalyst in shaping our character . They are bigger than life and we idolize them. They are our source of love and fear. Some are wise and learn from their parents’ mistakes (Matthew and Megan). Others develop their critical thinking at a later stage (Me). The rest prefer to keep the “cape” in place, irrespective of what happens (Hubby) .

Raising Healthy Human Beings

Matthew found Nemo when he was 9 months old. At 18 months he could identify every sea creature by species and subspecies. By the age of 3 he wanted to become a marine biologist. He also wanted to marry me. His aspirations of studying is on the horizon but he is not marrying me. He retracted his marriage proposal when he was 7. We were in church on Fathers day, when the Pastor told all the children to cover their ears. “ Anyone can have sex, but it takes a real father to raise a child,” the Pastor preached. Bright, little Matthew “covered” his ears but lifted his thumbs. The following day we received a request to stop by his teacher’s office. She caught 5 wide eyed boys with open mouths and a dictionary between them. Matthew was the instigator, they were looking up the word sex. His dictionary became his best friend. The memory of him reciting it word by word, still makes me smile. I tried to do damage control and whilst we were watching Dumbo, I told him the stork brought him. He responded, ” Don’t lie to me, you and daddy had sex”.

Photo by Aedrian on Unsplash

… until he wasn’t

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” CS Lewis



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Hope Charmaine

Hope Charmaine

I care about growth in every area, physically,emotionally,relationally,spiritually. I write the unadulterated truth about lessons learnt